Just then we all looked in front of us and saw this beat up black cadillac, this low-rider pulling up in front of us. It had flames painted all over the side and on the hood and had what looked like pictures of green jalapenos painted all over it. Behind the wheel was this large, older guy, in his 40's. He looked like a Mexican with long, black hair and a huge black beard. He stopped his low-rider momentarily, let his huge arm hang outside the window as he stared at all of us menacingly. He had one of the most vicious stares I'd ever seen and it looked like his skin was a strange mix of orange-brown with bizarre hints of green that painted his cheeks and forehead like blush. His eyes were almost yellow as he struck fear into all of us who stood there looking at him, wondering what the hell he wanted. "So which one of you queers is a good enough salesman to work for me?" he barked out.
None of us said a word and I immediately lost my erection. We all just stood there shaking until the guy finally laughed this hideous, evil laugh and drove away, his tires screeching and smoke from his huge exhaust pipes filling the entire parking lot.
"Who the hell was that?" I asked Roger.
"That's Burnie," Roger said. "He owns the most popular Mexican place on campus, "The Howling Jalapeno". Every year he comes around this place, stalking us and trying to find a new recruit for his door-to-door burrito selling program. It's a real aggressive sales tactic, knocking on strangers' doors and trying to sell them burritos out of the blue and right there on the spot. Guys who do well supposedly move up to being a driver and they get to drive one of Burnie's infamous low-riders around town, delivering burritos to people who have actually ordered them first.
"Holy crap, do people actually want to work for that guy?" I said, still shaking in my boots.
"Believe it or not," Roger said, "the guy's actually pretty charming and persuasive up close, when he decides he likes you and every year he manages to lure our best salesman into working for him. The thing is, they work about a year and suddenly disappear. Whenever anyone asks Burnie what happened to them he just shakes his head and says, "Hell if I know, the dude must have graduated and left town or something." But I know that's a crock of shit because last year's recruit was Tom, a good friend of mine, who was only a freshman. One day he was all happy and riding his newly acquired low-rider around town, having finally been promoted by Burnie and the next day nothing, gone. The low-rider was sitting in Burnie's Howling Jalapeno parking lot, though, of course, probably with Tom's dead body in the trunk, if you ask me. I don't know what the hell Burnie does with them or how he is somehow above the law, but there's a big campus legend about him that says he's a werewolf, and that the local authorities are afraid to do anything about him for fear of what his evil might bring to the town once he's provoked."
